Magnificent New Zealand Dating Culture

Updated on Jul 2023

The beautiful landscapes, the haka, the Maori, the mountains: the country already seems familiar to you, yet you have a lot to discover. New Zealanders live to the rhythm of traditions and customs built by history. With a desire to find out facts about New Zealand dating culture, you should read not only one article but be full of interest in their mentality and traditions.

Particularities of New Zealand Relationships You Should Know

Cheerfulness, kindness, incredible hospitality are the key concepts in the morality of a New Zealander. The locals are always ready to help, advise, and support. Their easy character is not devoid of self-irony, and they sometimes jokingly call each other “kiwi.” These are the first things to keep in mind to understand how to date in New Zealand.

According to the census, which dates from 2018, most of the population of New Zealand, namely 3,297,864 people, are European. But, it is worth noting that they are not similar to either Europeans or Asians, like the New Zealand culture dating.

They See Life as an Adventure

Even if you meet a girl of dazzling beauty who earns a lot, holds a high position, she never brags about it. In this culture, it is not the result that is important, but the path. They want to live for themselves in pleasure, which also affects the culture of relationships.

When you meet the citizens of this culture, they will either want to build a long-term relationship with you or offer to be friends right away. These are the type of people who do not like to keep you intrigued and not give a concrete answer to you. Besides, whether there is a chance for one person to have a relationship is apparent during the first date.

They Surprise With Their Generosity

The more surprising aspect of New Zealand dating culture is that no matter how much money a man or woman earns, they will share it with you anyway. They are ready to pay a bill at a restaurant, buy a drink, or give a gift. Women don’t mind paying for themselves. But if there is an offer to pay for the girl on your part, she will not refuse and be flattered.

Inventiveness in Relationships and Life in General

Although people of this culture often live by tradition, it is easy to surprise others with their creativity and original ideas. They know how to find a way out of a difficult situation and do not get upset when facing challenges. The New Zealand dating rules peculiarity is that they can do whatever comes to mind. On the first date, you can encounter an awkward hug, have a casual conversation, and immediately get an invitation to the next date. There are no limits to creativity, so relationships and sex with kiwi partners are fun and exciting.

new Zealand dating culture

Women and Men Value Natural Beauty

Let’s imagine that on the first date New Zealand, a girl was beautifully dressed, with handsome makeup, and was smiling. The next day, walking after work, she meets this friend on the street, but she does not look so pretty this time. She is without makeup and in simple clothes. And there is no reason to worry! Indeed, simplicity and natural beauty are valued in this culture. At the same time, after such a meeting, feelings between two partners can flare up even more.

What Are the New Zealand Dating Rules?

Before you go to this country or write on an online dating site to a kiwi girl, it is worth paying attention to particular international dating culture New Zealand rules of behavior. You should comply with these rules. Let’s take a closer look at them.

Being Polite Is the Crucial Rule

It is worth paying attention to good manners. Strict company leaders will not allow themselves to offend their employees, hurt their feelings or offend them. In interpersonal communication, you should be careful with irony or black humor not to be rude or offensive. When complimenting, keep in mind that it is better to pay attention to personal qualities rather than appearance or status.

The Ability to Relax Plays a Significant Role

In the life of the inhabitants of this country, an important aspect is a balance between home and work. They work honestly, devoting all their strength and energy to fulfilling work assignments. After the end of the working day, they enjoy going to bars, watching movies, and drinking wine. It also influences New Zealand dating culture.

When one person has a girlfriend or boyfriend, the typical New Zealander will spend this time with a partner. Moreover, it is essential to plan your time and relax with your significant other.

Honesty and Sincerity Are in Honor

Although New Zealanders try to be polite and respectful in all situations, they can show their dissatisfaction if someone violates ethical standards, insults, or behaves rudely. In relationships, they value kindness, spiritual openness, and honesty. Another particularity of New Zealand dating and marriage is that it is not customary to cheat on a partner. At the same time, even at an early stage of communication, they can, without secrets, say that they want to kiss or marry you. Saying what you think is a norm.

Life Without Worries

Another impressive aspect of New Zealand culture is living without worries. No matter how many difficulties fill your life, it is crucial to find the energy source and have a desire to develop. You can thank your partner for minor actions, a delicious dinner, or support in difficult situations.

Comparison of Dating Culture New Zealand and USA

Some New Zealand dating customs originate from Maori culture. These are specific rules of behavior, which differ a lot from what you experience in the USA. Let’s take a look at comparing some cultural aspects of these countries.

Dating Relationships in New Zealand Culture vs American Culture

Dating relationships in New Zealand cultureDating relationships in American culture
When you are indoors, take off your shoes to show respect. Some New Zealand citizens also pray to bless the food before eating it.There are no traditional rules of behavior when you are visiting someone.
When greeting, it is customary to kiss a person on the cheek or hug.People greet each other by shaking hands. Kissing is not a regular greeting.
Not all people in New Zealand like it when strangers get close. But being friendly and smiling are good manners.Americans enjoy small tasks. They have nothing against acquaintances.
People in bars and restaurants are friendly, talkative, and happy to meet unknown people. Foreigners have a lot of chances to get to know the wonderful indigenous people of this country.In the United States, people go to bars with friends in many cases. Meeting unknown people isn’t always a good idea.
Flirting by making compliments and sending gifts is allowed.People prefer small talk more than flirting.

Are There Any Particular New Zealand Dating Customs?

Time to talk about traditions ingrained in the culture and directly impact building relationships. Let’s talk about what is essential to every New Zealander and how they perceive marriage.

Marriage Is Based on Feelings

Before embarking on New Zealand flirting, serious relationships, and marriage, attention is paid to the feelings within the couple and not to the parent’s expectations. The average New Zealand couple can live together for several years before getting married.

The average age when New Zealanders decide to get married is 32. Besides, in 2019, the number of divorces per 1000 people was 8.6, not a large number.

New Zealand Relationships

The Dinner Meeting Is an Opportunity to Socialize

Coming to New Zealand, you will understand that the traditional way to spend time is to gather in a cafe or at someone’s house and eat. If you visit someone, buy wine or bring food.

Personal Topics Are Taboo

Among the features of flirting in New Zealand, it is worth highlighting a certain distance from personal topics. You can talk about general things, start a conversation with flirting, but you should not touch on individual issues. Asking a question about salary, weight, ex-relationship, you have low chances to get an answer.

Tips to Integrate Into the New Zealand Dating Culture

If you plan to date people from another country, you should adapt to their diverse culture at the early stages. Below we have prepared a list of do’s and don’ts that will be useful for anyone interested in dating in New Zealand customs.


  • A date is an excellent chance to show your best side.
  • Come to all meetings on time, be punctual.
  • The enjoyment of dates and meetings is the key to successful communication.
  • Even if the date fails, it’s vital to remain positive and friendly.
  • Showing interest in a person and his inner world is more important than his appearance.


  • Don’t bother with messages and constant calls. The person will answer when the time and desire appear.
  • Don’t be late for your date, even if you have a good reason.
  • Do not hide your emotions and do not lie because everything secret will become apparent in the future.
  • In New Zealand date culture, there is a principle of not being easily accessible and not dating a married person.

Final Thoughts on New Zealand Dating Culture

New Zealand culture attracts foreigners with its peculiarities and differences. Arriving in this country, you will see the world differently. As shown in our article, comparing dating in New Zealand vs USA, there are few differences. If you plan to go there and find a girlfriend, be confident and register on dating sites.


What Is Dating Like in New Zealand?

First, you meet in a bar or on an online communication platform and try to get to know each other better. These people are open-minded and talkative. They have nothing against meetings, exchanges, and communication. If you want to impress a local girl, behave like a gentleman, be punctual and sincere.

How Long Do New Zealand Women Date Before Marriage?

Everything depends on the man a girl chooses. If he wants to build a happy family or have children, there won't be any obstacles to a happy marriage. Traditions of dating and marriage in New Zealand are the same as in the other parts of the world. It can take a few months or an entire year before the couple starts living together.

What Happens if I Marry a New Zealand?

Your life can become a little more interesting and exciting because you will encounter a culture unlike yours. How much you enjoy dating in New Zealand depends on your enthusiasm for learning about the unique customs, traditions, language, and culture of relationships there. Take your time to decide and be ready for the adventures.

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